Great places to bust a nut on a woman

It has come to my attention that while wearing a condom ensures you do not produce any unwanted progeny, you lose the pleasure of busting a nut inside a woman. Unless of course you are fornicating with a post-menopause, or a pre-pubescant female. I'm not going to go into the dilemma one faces if choosing to fornicate with a pre-pubescant female, other than, it is illegal. In the case of a post-menopause woman, you would have to deal with the obvious; the woman has more miles than that 1982 Toyota Cressida you see on the 134.

Here are some common (and not so common) places where you can bust a nut on (or in) a woman and not have to deal with a bastard child 9 months later.

1) Mouth: This is an obvious choice. There is no better place than spewing semen in a woman's mouth. It's warm, it's wet, and it's almost like a vagina, less the tightness, but if you want the semen to be swallowed, then it's the best place. Stick your penis in far enough, and it's guaranteed your spooge will be swallowed.

2) Eye: The shanghai shooter, my personal favorite. Take a load off, so to speak, in a woman's eye. It takes precision, but think about it, you'll be the guy she always talks about. Random girl to her friend: "Did you know XXXXX made me blind because he spooged in my eye!" Yaaaaow!

3) Ear: I don't know why you would do this, but if you want to talk shit about a girl after you finish fornicating with her, some delicately placed spooge in her ear may do the trick. Using enough precision, one can pull this off, and while she's wondering what went into her ear, you can proceed to call her a skank, trick, hoe, or skeezer.

4) Ass Crack: If you're not a fan of mud, the ass crack may not be your forte, but if you enjoy getting "down and dirty," some spooge in, or on the ass crack might be just what that hoe needs. It's not necessarily the most unique place to spooge, but it works.

Obviously, there are numerous places one can release on a woman, but these are just a few. Just remember, once you spooge, a timely Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaow must be done, otherwise, you can just get the steppin!