Getting "some" from family members that you are related to, not by blood

A special thanks to Malcolm McCurry, the driving force behind today's blog.

Readers, before you decide to delve into today's blog, please understand that I do not condone sexual relations with family members that I am related to by blood. That of course is incest, which is illegal in the United States. (Except Alabama)

I recently found out, about a year ago, that I have a cousin, (through my uncle's 2nd marriage) who is an Indian Adult film actress. When I went to India last year, I got to meet her and I instantly wanted to get with her. She was pretty damn hot. I began to ponder the ethics of this being right or wrong.

Now, before you decide that you want to engage in sexual intercourse with a family member, related by marriage, not blood, you have to make sure that they are down to party, because you do not want to be the topic of discussion at the next family cookout. This brings me to a few things to think about, before you decide to lube up and insert.

1) Have they shown interest in you? When you are at the family cookout, does (insert name here - provided there is no blood relationship) their eyes gaze at your crotch? When they pat your back, do they seductively touch your derriere? Have you ever sat down with let's say Auntie Phyllis, who is Uncle Ted's (your dad's brother) second wife, and she offers you a blowjob? If that's the case, you're in.

2) Have you ever walked in on them? This might be a little hard, but if you've ever walked in on a relative that you're related to, not by blood, and seen them in a compromising situation, and they laugh it off, you might be in. Next time you're at a relative's house, and you see your hot cousin (again, no blood relation) about to take a shower, find a way to jimmy the lock, so when she's in the restroom, you accidentally walk in. If you offer her a hand, or to join her in a steamy session, and she says yes, strap up, cowboy.

3) Have you ever slow danced with them? At a wedding, bar-mitzvah, or anniversay party, your hot aunt, related through marriage may have asked to dance with you, because her husband is a little too old to dance. If you say yes, and she embraces you and touches you between the legs, this might be the easiest way to get some forbidden poon. Once your little buddy gets hard, ask her to come to your room for some drinks. After the first libation, slowly run your hand up her dress. If you hear her moan, you're getting a blowjob.

4) Have you ever heard them talk about...? Often times, the easiest access to forbidden poon is right under our roof! If your dad gets remarried, and the product of your marriage gives you a step sister, or a hot step mother, why not try to hit that? Let's say you hear your step mom and step sister talking about sex, and they quickly get all hot in the cooch, this might be your easiest entry ever. Just go up to your step sister, and say "I heard you talking to mom about XXXXX, and I can teach you what I know." Most women will not agree at first, but a little gentle persuasion, and some party favors, and she'll be down to do anything. Just make sure that you wear protection, because I don't think society looks positively upon Step brothers and step sisters making babies, even if I think it's okay. Getting with your step mom might be a little harder (no pun intended), but it's possible. If your dad and step mom have a fight, just go up to your step mom and try to console her, telling her that you'd treat her right. Put your arm around her and gently push her head down to your lap, so her mouth is you-know-where. If she's receptive to you undoing your fly and she gives you some oral pleasure, you know what's coming up next.

Again, dear readers, this is by no means acceptable or appropriate, but I am no judge of morality. Therefore, if you want to do it, by all means, do it! Just remember, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH BLOOD RELATIVES...it is illegal.