Hooking up with the family members of your friends

Keeping true to the theme of hooking up with family, I've decided to branch out, to the idea of hooking up with the family members of friends. Seeing that "Pussy is Pussy," "Ass is ass," and a "mouth is a mouth," it doesn't matter whether it is a random slut from a bar, your friend's mom, your step-mom, or if you're wearing a blindfold, a man, so if your friend's mom is DTF, go on in. Just remember there are some things to think about before spooging in your friend's mom.

1) Make sure that your friend's relative(s) is/are above 18, or the age of consent in the state in which you live. I do not condone having intercourse with people below the age of 18 - it is illegal.

2) Do not, I repeat do not, hook up with your friend's wife. No matter how much of a hoe your friend's wife is, it will most likely cause a rift in your friendship. If your friendship is on the rocks, then fine, go for it, but you have to make sure your friend's wife is DTF. One way to find out if she's down to party, is to give her a massage. Start with the shoulders, then move down to the lower back. If you can massage her clit, you're in. Again, this is wrong, I don't recommend it. However, if you do decide to engage in intercourse with a friend's wife, make sure you wear protection.

3) A friend's sister is always a good source for a quick booty call. Again, make sure she's over 18. You never want to get into a compromising situation with someone below the age of consent. If you have a friend who has a hot sister, you can always see if she's DTF by her track record. A lot of girls these days, like to enjoy a party favor, like booze, doobies, or smoking crack. If she does any of the above, just bring some party favors, and once she takes them, your penis is as good as in (her mouth). Make sure your friend doesn't find out, this might create a rift between the two of you.

4) If your friend has an aunt that is approaching 50, this might be a place where you want to insert your little buddy. Women who are approaching, or at 50 are DTF when it comes to a man who is significantly younger. In order to pull this off, you need to be a bit of a sleuth, as you have to figure out where said friend's aunt lives, where she works, what her schedule is, and where she normally goes for lunch. After doing the above, "randomly" meet her at the restaurant where she goes for lunch, and say to her "Oh hi, you're Fernando's aunt Consuela, right?" If she says yes, invite her to have a drink with you, and if she touches your knee or gives you a hug after lunch, you know what comes (no pun intended) next.

5) Your friend's mom, again is a source for poon, but this is going to be a little tricky because she most likely is married to your friend's dad. Most people do not want to be billed as a homewrecker, but if you don't care about your repuation, or about your friend's feelings about nailing the aforementioned friend's mother, this can be done in two ways:

a) Finding out your friend's mom's church, if she's religious. You attend a service or two and "surprisingly" bump into her. After she sees your religious side, you ask her to meet with you one-on-one to talk about your love of Allah, Jesus, etc. I mean, how threatening can that be. You can bring up a story about how you're trying to find god, and cry a little. If she puts her arm around you, and hugs you, and you're able to cop a feel, you're getting some not-so-forbidden poon.

b) If your friend's mom likes a certain type of music, whether is be gangsta rap, R&B, soul, etc, you can surprise her with a mixtape of that type of music. If she listens to it when you're over, you can enhance the mood with some party favors. Once she gets some libations in her system, she'll start dancing, and that's when you offer to take her to her bedroom. Offer to give her a massage, and you know what follows..

Make sure if you're going to nail your friend's mom, you do it when no one is around. This is by far the worst thing you can do..

I almost feel a little bad for writing this, but now I can absolve myself of any wrongdoing, by saying that I do not condone hooking up with my friend's family members, regardless of how hot they are. It's not illegal, but there are some ramifications. That being said, if you know they're DTF, might as well be you than some random stranger.