Some new and taste(less)ful products

Friends, I am an innovator, after all, I come up with 69% of the material on this blog, and with the holidays around the corner, it's a good time for me to put out my mind to good use.

For those overly fertile women you spooge in:

Dr. Twistee's home abortion kit. This kit includes some party favors, a bottle of cheap champagne, a champagne flute, and a wire coat hanger, with instructions on how to unbend the wire coat hanger and use it to take care of the abortion.

For the woman who gets out of line sometimes:

Big Bill's Backhand in a Box. If you don't want to use your hand to backhand that cunt when she won't suck your dick, you can buy Big Bill's Backhand in a Box which includes a fake arm and hand attached to it. The lifelike arm will ensure that every woman you come across knows who's boss.

If you want to tell women you're a latin lover:

Antonio Lopez in jor pocket: This kit will turn every non latin-non lover into a latin lover without plastic surgery. Includes a microphone and a small, but powerful speaker you put in jor (your)pocket. You say something like: Hello, female, would you like to dance with me, but the output is: Hola lady, joo want some payyon on the dence floor. This device will have all the ladies going crazy for their payyonate latin man.

For the BBW who plays hard to get:

Bill Cosby's Pudding scented Penis: If you go, at 2 AM, to see a BBW to get some fellatio, and she's not sucking, or biting for that matter, just spray a few drops of Bill Cosby's Pudding scented Penis and the BBW, like a dog in heat, will run to your nether regions rip your trousers off and start licking your pudding pop. Make sure you don't spray too much, as the BBW's are always on the prowl for food, and you don't want them to bite your little buddy, just lick and suck it dry. Note: BBW's have NO RIGHT to play hard to get, as they should be thankful you want to fuck them.

If you want to nail a woman who has cancer:

Bob's Bald cap and Sammy's Syringes: You just take Bob's bald cap and put in on your head so it looks like you've lost your hair from the chemo radiation therapy, and you keep some of Sammy's Syringes, which of course are fakes, in your jacket pocket, and you go to a cancer group home and you tell the hoes recovering from cancer that you need to feel like a man again, and with Bob's Bald cap and Sammy's Syringes, how will they prove you wrong? Just make sure that when you are granted entry, you use extra precaution, otherwise, you'll catch the chemo.

I've given you 5 solid ideas for making some money, now get working! There is mucho dinero that needs to be made in these tough times, and these new products are gonna fly off the shelf. The only question is, are you going to make these products, or am I?

Chris Mud.