The Do's and Dont's of hooking up at an office party

As the holiday season approaches, many of you, my dear readers will be attending a holiday soiree, a party as Christmas, Hannakuah, and Kwaanza approach. At said holiday party approaches, there might be an opportunity to hook up with that female from HR. Never passing on an opportunity for poon, here are some simple Do's and Dont's to ensure that you are guaranteed entrance into an unsuspecting co-worker after the party.

Do's

1)Go to the holiday party alone so you're not stuck taking your date home and not getting fellatio from her (your date)
2)Keep some party favors in your car in case the heavy set party girl from IT wants you to come over
3)Refrain from wearing socks and a watch - after nailing that hoe in the IT department, do you really want to leave behind evidence of last night's "after party?
4) Arrive late - you want the Hoes from your company to marinate before you take advantage of the situation
5) Try to get at someone in a position of authority - if they get on all fours, it translates to a promotion
6) Keep a rubber and lube in your pocket, in case a female coworker wants to hook up at the party
7) Keep a souvenier of your holiday party escapades, like her panties from that night, or a sex toy stolen from her room

Dont's

1) Try to hook up with married woman - her husband (who is probably at the office party) might have an issue with you wanting to finger said married woman.
2)Show up to the office party in your own car - in case you take a drunk girl home and drop a steamer on her, you don't want her identifying you by your car's VIN #, color, or License plate frame color.
3) Cockblock a co-worker who is clearly trying to hook up with the heavyset woman in the IT department. This will bite you in the ass later.
4)Nail a co-worker sans condom - how would you like to pay child support in house?
5) Stay at said female co-worker's house overnight...do what needs to be done, and get the hell out of there, before she figures out who you are.
6)Leave behind evidence - make sure you take your shoes, used condom, lube, party favors, and anything else that can be traced back to you
7) Arrive to the party early - you want to swoop in on the unsuspecting women - be the mysterious latin lover who is going to get fellatio.

I am a proponent of office party hookups, if it is limited to that - no inter office romance, no flowers, just use the female coworker for her best three attributes; her mouth, ass, and vagina.