Myspace - by Phil

My dear readers, I realize that my blog, over the last few days, has not lived up to your expectations. With an apology and a pulsating and erect penis, I vow to you, that the denim warehouse will be back, with a vengeance.

My topic today is myspace, the online portal, not the space between a woman's legs, which is used for a penis.

Keep in mind, I'm only blogging about what I would do if I had a myspace - I've never had one - the online portal, that is.

1) My picture would be something that would attract women, fat, thin, black, white, they're all welcome to contact me. I'd wear nothing but animal skins and I'd be holding bags of money.

2) I would send dirty messages to girls of all ages, 14 and up, because it's a numbers game. I would include the things I want to do them, like spooge in their mouths, have copious amounts of fellatio performed on me, and stick my fingers up their ass.

3) Fat girls would get special attention from me. Every fat girl would get a message saying I want to take them to Olive Garden for the never ending pasta bowl. After dinner, I would give them a never ending salad to toss.

4) If a girl has a picture of herself with anything in her mouth - lollipop, popsicle, cigarette, crack pipe, straw, etc, I would send her a photo of my penis, as it's only natural that her mouth is used for sucking me off. Anytime a woman puts something in her mouth, she is down...

5) If a girl says she's Christian, I'd tell her that I want to talk religion with her, and try to meet her for a meeting, and I'd definitely bring party favors. Once she's ready to party, I'd pound her hard and make her call my name.. "God"

This is what I would do if I had a myspace - my personal opinion is that all (not some) girls on myspace are DTF, with anyone. If they were selective, then there would be no need for myspace, just herspace, aka a vagina.